Leeks are Still Yummy
by My Gender is Armin Arlert
Summary: Sequel to "Leeks are Yummy". Chalk from Renoblade Particles informs Pit that he will be participating in the fourth Smash Bros. tournament.


Pit and Shulk stood in the living room, discussing a decision Shulk had made after the incident a few days ago.

"So…you're staying at the mansion?" Pit asked the blonde swordsman, sounding a little skeptical. Who in their right mind would want to stay in this hellhole?

Shulk nodded. "Of course. I believe it's time to show my strength to fellow swordsmen. That, and it may be nice, normal fun here!"

Pit nodded. "Alright, that's fine…" The angel shrugged. He was fine with the whole strength thing, but normal wasn't something that is used often in the Smashers' vocabulary. "Do you mind telling me why you don't have any clothes on?"

Shulk shrugged in response. The Monado-wielding boy wore nothing but shorts and shoes, showing off his well-built body. Many of the female Smashers had taken fangirlish glances at him, much to the disdain of the male Smashers.

"Okay, so let me get this straight: you, Shulk, want to stay in this godforsaken, stupid ass mansion while strutting around basically naked, making the rest of us males feel like shit, all while believing that it's normal here, something that you will be proven wrong of in the next few minutes? Am I right?"

Shulk nodded. "That's basically the gist of it."

"Hey, look, guys! It's Chalk from _Renoblade Particles_!" Peach exclaimed, running from wherever she was to approach the swordsman. She jumped on him, knocking a now-scared Shulk to the ground.

"Please, Miss Peach, get off – you're crushing me…and it's Shulk. I'm from…Xenoblade Chronicles…"

"Really?" a voice asked. Pit turned around to see Marth and Link standing behind him. Link was chugging down a bottle of Lon Lon Milk." I thought your name was She Hulk, and that you were from _Genofade Chemicals_."

Shulk pushed Peach off him, allowing the princess to roll into the legs of a small table. "No one listened when I said 'It's Shulk time'?"

Marth chuckled. "Of course not, silly. What person in their right mind says such a cheesy thing? Gods, you sound like Ike whenever he exclaims that he 'fighting for his friends', haha!"

"Burn in hell," the mercenary called from somewhere.

Link abruptly stopped drinking his milk. He threw his glass at a random wall, nearly hitting the poor angel in the process. He dashed towards Shulk and grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him close. The Hylian seemed to be examining the fellow blonde swordsman, ignoring the need for personal space.

"Shulk," he started. The fellow blonde try to prevent himself from laughing at the Lon Lon Milk moustache the Hylian was sporting. "Do you want to join my Hylian Hookshot clan? We 360 noscope all day, every day."

Shulk stared at him in confusion, attempting to decipher what the hell Link was talking about. While that was happening, Pit was trying his hardest to sneak away from the stupidity that surrounded him.

"_I should've never came back to this tournament," _the angel thought. _"I should've became Viridi's servant…"_

"_Yes, I agree, angel boy."_

Pit jumped back, startled by the voice in his head. His eyes widened in shock as Mewtwo appeared before him.

"W-why are you, here, Mewtwo?"

"_I'm in the DLC, bitch. The real question is this: who the fuck is this Greninja character and why is he stealing my swag?"_

"Swag?" Link said, still holding onto Shulk. "Hylian Hookshot clan, everybody!"

"_Shut up!" _Mewtwo roared. _"This story will get nowhere with random, unfunny interruptions."_

"But isn't that the point of crackfics?" Marth asked.

"Guys, I said this before and I will say it again: please stop making references to the fourth wall!" Pit sighed. "Besides," he mumbled, "why the hell would there be DLC anyway? What the hell are we, every shooting game ever?"

Mewtwo nodded. _"Why yes, yes we are."_

Before Pit could respond, Dark Pit and Bowser Jr. rushed into the room, heading straight to Shulk and Link. The dark angel jumped in the air and kicked Shulk in the face, knocking him down. Link fell down as well, landing on top of him in a way that made few of the female Smashers blush.

"So," Dark Pit began, standing over a bleeding Shulk and Link, "why the hell wasn't me and Bowser Jr. formally confirmed, eh? What, we're not good enough or something?"

Pit smirked, seeing this as an opportunity to mess with Dark Pit. "Silly Dark Pit – you'll never be good enough as the original."

"But doesn't Dark Pit have more fangirls than you?" Peach asked, an innocent look on her face. Dark Pit and Bowser Jr. snickered; Pit rolled his eyes, not wanting to admit that Dark Pit did indeed have more fangirls than him.

"_Can we get back to the most important thing here: me?"_ Mewtwo stated in annoyance.

"Why don't you join my Hookshot clan?" Link asked. "Luck here is joining."

Shulk screamed in anger. He threw Link off of him and stood up, quickly drawing his Monado. His expression was that of pure annoyance. "For the last freaking time, my name is Shulk! S-h-u-l-k, SHULK! How hard is that to remember?!"

Dark Pit shrugged. "Hey Link, I'll join you and Chalk's Hookshot clan," he said casually.

Shulk screamed yet again. In a fit of rage, he started destroying everything in the living room. Dark Pit and Bowser Jr. laughed and mocked him, saying things such as "You mad, Monado Boy?" Link was now sitting on the couch while Mewtwo and Marth accompanied him; the Hylian explained the benefits of being in his Hookshot clan as opposed to being in Snake's sniper clan. Peach was in the midst of happily rolling on the floor, effectively dodging the objects that fell to the floor as Shulk knocked them to the ground. Many of the Smashers were now filming the raging blonde, planning to upload the video to YouTube as "Boy in Undies Named Chalk Goes Insane in the Membrane".

Pit stood far away from the chaos. He wasn't exactly sure how to comprehend it, nor did he want to. All he knew was that Masahiro Sakurai lied to him when he claimed that the Smash Bros. tournaments would be lots of fun. Deciding not to watch anymore stupidity unfold before him, the angel walked away, only to trip over an object yet again. He didn't bother standing up as he adjusted himself to see what caused his fall.

It was the same dog and duck from before.

"…What the HELL?!"

* * *

**I'm gonna have so much fun incorporating Shulk into my fanfics. So much fun indeed. I love how his introduction video is titled: "Looks like we didn't have a choice!" Still haven't played Xenoblade Chronicles; I regret nothing. You may hate me now.**

**Pls join Rinku's Hookshot Clan.**


End file.
